"Discovering" BLOG

In this blog I will be documenting my experiences of personal growth and struggle as well as experiences that have brought me both joy and sadness in a very raw and authentic way (expect swearing). I invite you to join me on my journey of discovering what’s possible and I hope to inspire you to do the same as we journey through my life experiences together.

THE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER OF A POST CANCER CHECK UP AND HOW I FOUND SELF EMPOWERMENT IN THE FACE OF THE UNKNOWN

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This is photo of me, eight months post bowel resection surgery, about to get a colonoscopy to check for the possible return of cancer.  Gulp. Although I was somewhat joking around when I took this photo, it did accurately represent a portion of my feelings at the time. Less so feelings about having a scope shoved up my ass and into my colon (the Fentanyl makes that a breeze), but more about what may or may not be found once we had a visual of my insides. Due to the worldwide Covid 19 pandemic, my original check up appointment had been cancelled leaving me feeling a bit uneasy and wondering about my internal state of health.  "Did the cancer return or not?"  This was my big question. Although I always try to remain on the positive side, the fear of cancer returning (I'm learning), is a normal experience for any cancer survivor.   My fear was exacerbated in part by the ...
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Jessi
Aww, thanks Barb. Your words mean a lot
Tuesday, 16 June 2020 01:41
Jessi
Thank you so much friend, for everything!
Tuesday, 16 June 2020 01:42
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IT'S NORMAL TO FEEL THIS WAY

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Feelings. Oh, feelings...  It's that time of year again when most of us seem to feel a lot of them.  Since receiving a clean bill of health back in October, I have been experiencing a whirlwind of feelings and emotions. At times, I've felt nothing but pure bliss and elation. At other times, feelings of sadness, confusion and despair have consumed me. I've processed and am still processing a lot of stuff! Through the experience of being diagnosed with and overcoming cancer, I was gifted the opportunity to become aware of some self sabotaging patterns and behaviours that I had previously been engaging in. Endurism (apparently this is not a real word??), excessive productivity, and avoiding my feelings by various means to name a few...  The issue is, that these patterns of behaviour are all I have known for years... " Uncomfortable feelings to deal with? No problem, I'll...
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